I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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