Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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