the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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