can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
