so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
