I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i think i just lost a toe
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
