I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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