Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
