dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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