I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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