She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize