Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize