i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
