just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
