I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
