awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think people are normalizing furries
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
