needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
