i already hear my dad disowning me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
