North Korea, Best Korea!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
