just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
