My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
