Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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