He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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