Little spoons don't ask big questions
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
