absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
