weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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