their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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