I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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