is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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