its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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