He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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