thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
