Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
