I've blown a few things in my day
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
