Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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