i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
