I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
