There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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