My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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