I forgot how hot balto sounded
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
