i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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