So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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