My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
