Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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