She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
