Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The beer is more important than you right now.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
