That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
