The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
