they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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