there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
