Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
