She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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