I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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