super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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