I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
