I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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