just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize