I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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