sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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