He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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