Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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